Rude News 011: (B)romance - Are we all dying alone?

Did we girlboss too close to the sun?

Ahh yes the male loneliness epidemic. „Fucking bitches and making money“ seems to be a thing of the past. And like in any relationship, by the time the woman is done, she’s already grieved, moved on, rekindled with her friends and started a new hobby. Meanwhile, he’s just now realising what he lost. In light of recent events – by which I mean the last years of women scrambling to fit into the male gaze – it might be too late for a second chance. The “male loneliness epidemic” isn’t a warning. It’s the aftermath of a breakup men didn’t even notice happening.

Men are lonelier than ever. Work has become our main focus of life, friendships are harder to keep, women have had enough and (social) media has dangled fake emotional value in front of us a bit too long to not notice its shallowness.

Even Central Cee is so close to getting it:

„When you met me, I had issues with my trust, you were concerned
You try and help me heal, but ended up the one that's hurt“

„Say your skin's breakin' out because I cause you stress
Then you left, you're lookin' sexier than ever and you're glowin’“

- Central Cee „Now we’re strangers“, 2025

In Rude News 007 we’ve discussed the „not all men“ term and the fact, that even as bystanders and silent supporters men have made themselves an option women might not choose in the future. And theres a growing awareness in male circles.

So what do men do now?

It wouldn’t be fair to say they haven’t evolved at all. It feels like bromances are on the rise. Men are beginning to lean into deeper emotional connections with each other. Conversations about mental health, vulnerability, and self-reflection are making their way into cafés and late night fast-food chains. But there’s a catch: these emotional connections are often still framed through the lens of male competition and ego, rather than true mutual support. So, while the effort to break free from outdated masculinity is there, it's often shallow and selective, due to competition and lack of communication skills.

The male loneliness epidemic isn’t just about being single. It’s about an entire generation of men who have been taught to suppress, deny, and avoid their feelings. It’s about realising that maybe, the way forward is not through dominance or control, but through humility, honesty, and deep connection with others.

We’ve known this for a while. We called it „toxic masculinity“ and now men are seeing themselves suffer under patriarchal norms for maybe the first time in real time.

While our skin is glowing, they’re going out with the boys to latch on to any connection near them, that might have been „fucking bitches“ for a while but seems to not be scratching the itch in the right way anymore - especially since the „bitches“ are either not wanting to be „fucked“, or by now want the same thing without any accompanying pillow talks, serving as therapy sessions.

So men, like women, are turning to themselves. But here's where things get really complicated: as men start to open up to each other, women – to them – seem to become even more one-dimensional, reduced to objects of sexual desire. Now that emotional support comes primarily from carefully curated bromances and bro culture, women are increasingly seen as secondary. It almost feels like, even when men were opening up in dimly lit rooms under bedsheets, women were simply the only ones truly listening. Now that men have started listening to each other, why bother with women at all?

For years, women have been critical of male behaviour – not without reason or without clear empirical data to back it up. Now, many men are mirroring that same attitude of detachment. Of course, not everyone fits this pattern, but it's a noticeable shift. Whether it’s a reaction to necessity or a reinforcement of gender roles : who knows?

Historically, women often entered relationships out of financial necessity or societal pressure. Now that we're allowed to economically participate – a freedom that still feels conditional, like pocket money handed out by reluctant parents – we've become more selective in our choice of partners. Emotional value, friendship within the romantic relationship and intellectual enrichment are things in addition to the bare minimum of mutual respect and security in the partnership that many men don’t seem to be bringing to the table.

It’s not that we left. It’s that we stopped waiting.

Yes, men are underfucked and overworked; not necessarily by women, but by a system that never taught them how to care or be cared for.
So what do they actually get out of a relationship?

Traditionally, a partner: someone who listens, cares, supports them. Yada yada yada. But if their bros are already filling that role by sharing memes, opening up over late-night talks, being there when things fall apart – why invest in a romantic relationship at all?
If emotional needs are covered and sex is outsourced, what’s left?

Some might argue, "But that's exactly what women do." And yes, many women are equally uninterested in relationships right now. But the why matters. Women are abstaining due to male misbehavior. Men, on the other hand, seem to be doing so simply because their needs are being met elsewhere. If sex can be found outside of committed relationships, then maybe the real draw of a partnership was never sex at all, but the emotional labour that came with it.

Now that the terms of use have changed, relationships may no longer seem like a worthwhile investment for men, because, for them, the outcome isn't all that different, with or without one.

This would mean that it was never about sex, about physical touch. I mean we kind of know that by now. But what is the main thing women miss in their male-abstinent life? Physical contact with someone your emotionally close with? Other women have been meeting our own need for emotional connection for so long - still we choose to end up in relationships with men again and again - why? Since more and more women are asking themselves the „Why?“, tired of picking up the emotional baggage from their partner, we get dogs, we buy warming blankets, weighted blankets to fill the physical gap our partnerless life has left.

So what now?

And Men are lonelier than ever, not because women left, but because they never emotionally showed up. And now that women are gone, and friends aren’t quite enough, they’re feeling the void they never acknowledged.

With filling the emotional gap with drunken late night conversations with their mates, and women comfortably positioned on a couch with their friends - are we eventually going to completely drift apart?
This seems like a generational reenactment of pride and prejudice, only that the prejudice is actually true and the pride might just be immaturity because there never was the need to mature before.

Are we all optimising our lifestyle to romantic abstinence?